Breaking up is hard.
Exactly like in love, there are two scenarios: a mutual, civil breakup or a violent, unreasonable breakup.
Which break up are you after?
We've all been there and this is why we've prepared the following guide to breaking up with your flatmate without killing each other
Is this just a phase or it's really over?
Exactly like in Love, you need to detach yourself from the situation and understand if the hard time you are having with your flatmate is just a phase or if the honeymoon-flatsharing-love is gone forever.
Is s/he having a stressful moment at work/uni? Or are you? Did he just lose his job? Family issues? Before taking any drastic decision, you should take into consideration all the collateral information around your lives.
Ok, so it's really over-over
If it's really over, book an appointment. An actual face to face kitchen / cafe meeting where you expose your decision and reasons. Never, ever, break up with your lover, roommate or flatmate over the phone (like that gigantic loser of my ex!), with a note, text or Whatsapp message. Come on, we are no teenagers anymore!
You might even realise that talking in person could bring new aspects or angles you didn't think about and, in the some cases, even some solutions.
Don't point the finger
Exactly like in love, don't just make accusations, be aware of your own mistakes and, if possible, use different formulas like: " I know I have very weird cleaning standars and habits" rather than "You never pick your hair from the shower and it's disgusting!", or say "I really can't afford to live here anymore" versus "I'm so f$^$%&$W tired of paying your bills!"
This is not the end
I remember living with this guy in London. He was the messiest and dirtiest person I've ever met in my life. He would eat in his bedroom and live dirty dishes and pots all around his bed for weeks. In a year of flatsharing, I never ever saw him washing a dish or a fork. After a while I left and never stepped again in that flat, however, I met him often and even now, 10 years later, we are still very good friends. I would never go to his place for lunch or dinner, but I gladly meet him for a coffee or a beer at the pub. This is to say that some people might not be suitable for living with us, but outside they could be the best friends ever so discussing with them in a pacific and mature way could also save the friendship form the end of it all. Why not? Friends are good to have and cutting off people for silly reasons isn't such a great idea.
Read more: Should You Live Alone or With a Roommate?
Give plenty of notice
You've been there as well so you know how time-consuming and hard is to find the perfect home to rent, so be nice and give your flatmate at least 30 days, but more if you want to be a really nice human being.
If you are the one being given the notice, make sure all the formal rental agreements are respected and you are given enough time to either find a new place or a new housemate.
Keep in touch
If you value your roommate’s friendship, put in the effort to keep in touch! If there are any tensions about you moving out or kicking them out, take some time off. The awkwardness will most likely fade away with time, once you both realize you/ they might be the worst housemates in the world, but you/they might also be the coolest friends you have.
PS: Even if you totally hate your flatmate, remember to send at least a Christmas or Birthday Card, or maybe just a text or a phone call.
Breaking up with a flat-, room-, housemate isn't simple or fun. But if you follow this easy step-by-step guide, I am sure it will be fine for the both of you. >
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